(73)This is How it Always Is by Laurie Frankel

Sunday, October 21, 2018


Claude is the youngest of Penn and Rosie's five children. With five older brothers, Claude could be many things, but he is kind, loving, funny, and intelligent.  And Claude prefers to wear dresses.  At five years old, Claude doesn't understand why can't wear a dress to school. but his parents say that he can't.  He just knows that he would rather wear dresses than pants, he would rather do crafts than play video games, he would rather be a princess than a prince.   He would rather be called Poppy than Claude. When a tragedy strikes the community Rosie realizes that Poppy will not be safe in Wisconsin.  She packs up the whole family to move to Seattle, a region known for their tolerance.  From their first day in Seattle, they were known as the family with four boys and a daughter. Poppy was Poppy.  She had sleepovers with her best friends, she took dance lessons and wore dresses. While Poppy lived a happy and joyous childhood Penn and Rosie lived in fear of their secret being revealed. What would happen to their fragile little girl *if* her secret was revealed? What will happen to their daughter *when* the secret is revealed.

This Is How It Always Is is an excellent book about many things.  Love, tolerance, secrets, acceptance, sacrifice and more.   I really, really, liked this book.  Rosie and Penn are great parents, they love their kids and all of their quirks.   And with five kids, there are bound to be a lot of quirks.  They aren't perfect parents, but when their instincts tell them to move their family across the country, that is what they do.  The thing is they made it too easy for Poppy to be Poppy, so when the secret is revealed, she didn't know how to handle it.  It is only natural that a parent would want to protect her from the pain and emotional trauma that so many trans people experience, and for the most part, they are successful at shielding her, until they aren't. I know that there are a lot of people out there who will believe that Penn and Rosie did it TO Poppy, but hopefully, they will read this book and realize that they didn't do anything to Poppy other than love her and allow her to be herself.   I really loved how the author explored this topic from a loving and accepting place.  And I *love* how Reese Witherspoon selected it for her book club, because that exposed this book, this topic, to an audience that may not have picked up this book. And may have never read a book about this topic.

Bottom Line - I truly believe that lack of tolerance for those different stems from a lack of understanding more than anything else.   In her book, This Is How It Is, Laurie Frankel explores a topic that is often a polarizing one.  I hope that it can generate a lot of conversation in book clubs all over the county and maybe, just maybe, change some views on the topic.

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